complicated life

last night i had a call with aziz. awalnya gue nelfon mau mengabari besok ga bisa ikut. and then i wanna talk about something, tapi ternyata aziznya belum solat. so we have to hung up, but he promised to text me after his prayer. ive been waiting for his text, tapi ga ada juga. gue mikir, apa aziz lupa? huaa, itu sekejap langsung bete. gue sms aziz. setelah lama lama lama, dan masalah pun mencuat. pokoknya soal angkatan lah. i cannot tell this here. then i was like, okay i have to call him. so i call aziz, once again. then we talked. these and thats. ternyata masalahnya ga se-simpel itu. it's so complicated. sementara banyak temen2 kita yang masih begitu, yahh emang susah. well you can't change people, can you? so after we talk for, like an hour or so- we hung up and the problem has not been solved yet but i hope we can find a way out.

then iqbal sent me sms. i wasn't planning for going to bed. but i said that i was almost asleep. because i wasn't in a mood for texting with anyone. i didn't reply any of the message (for exception: texts from aziz!). but then he said that he was in a bad mood, so i said "why don't you call me in 10 minutes." then yes, he called me aaand we talked for an hour. for a sudden my mom knocked my room and said "whom are you talking to?" then she said "it's too late, go to sleep. you don't talk to boys at the middle of the night. he's disturbing you. i don't like it." and when my mom said that she doesn't like, she mean it.

yeah okay i know i was wrong. i should go to bed. but one thing that i don't really like is: she is always bounding me for making any relationships. i know it, i know it. i shouldn't have any boyfriend at least after my university years are over or even when i'm already 30 something then no one would interested with me. gee, i'm upset. and this is what i don't like the most: then in the morning she started to ignore me, didn't say any word to me, pretending like i wasn't there. sometimes she started to act like kids, again. anyway, i still love you mom. i know what you are telling me is for goodness and kindness and my health. but you spoke to me at the middle of the night then my stomach felt hurts.

oh God, please! get me out of this. aaaaaaaaand i'm fucked up, once again.